‘Aa‘ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, was once asked, “Who is the best of women?” She answered, “She who does not use foul language, who is unaware of men’s cunningness (so she does not become their rival), and whose heart is occupied with nothing but adorning herself for her husband and caring for her children.”

　　Know, my dear sister, that believing in Allah The Exalted is the essence of your happiness and the source of comfort and tranquillity. Indeed, misery, suffering, and constant agonies are caused by abandoning faith in Allah The Almighty, and neglecting His remembrance, thankfulness to Him, and failing to fulfil the due rights of the acts of worship. Allah The Exalted Says (what means): {“Those who have believed and whose hearts are assured by the remembrance of Allah. Unquestionably, by the remembrance of Allah the hearts are assured.”} [Quran 13:28[H.S1]

　　{“And whoever turns away from My remembrance – indeed, he will lead a depressed life, and We will gather him on the Day of Resurrection blind.”} [Quran 20:124]

　　A young Muslim immigrant to the USA narrates that he had worked for a wealthy businessman who owns companies there. Whenever this businessman passed by this young man, he would find him smiling and appearing happy, whereas, the employer was sad, worried and gloomy all the time. Once he asked the young Muslim man about the secret behind his smile which reflects happiness and joy. The young man simply answered him, “Because I am Muslim.” Then the businessman exclaimed, “Will I find this happiness that you feel if I embrace Islam?” The young man answered, “Yes.” Then he accompanied his employer to an Islamic Centre where he embraced Islam and then burst into tears. When he was asked about the reason why he was crying, he answered, “This is the first time in my entire life that I have experienced real happiness.” [Tareek As-Sa‘aadah (The Way to Happiness)]

　　A mother’s advice to her daughter

　　When ‘Awf ibn Muhallim al-Shaybaani, one of the most highly respected leaders of the Arab nobility during the Jaahiliyyah, (pre-Islamic era) married his daughter Umm Iyaas to al-Haarith ibn ‘Amr al-Kindi, she was made ready to be taken to the groom, then her mother, Umaamah came in to her, and advised her daughter saying,

　　My dear daughter, you are leaving the home in which you have been brought up and were raised, to a home which you do not know, and with a new companion who you are not accustomed to. By marrying you, he has become your guardian and superior. Therefore, be a slave to him and he will be a slave to you.

　　My dear daughter, maintain these ten traits and he will always support you. As for the first and second trait: Be content in your life with him and be an obedient companion.

　　The third and fourth: Continuously be attentive to what his eyes fall on and to what his nose might smell. Do not let him behold you unattractive, and let him only smell pleasant scents from you.

　　The fifth and the sixth: Be attentive to the time of his meals, and be quiet during his sleep; for hunger is agitating, and disturbing one’s sleep arouses anger.

　　The seventh and eighth: Preserve his money, and look after his household and children, for guarding his money is a good characteristic, and looking after his household and children is a way of honoring him.

　　As for the ninth and tenth traits: Never expose his secrets or disobey his orders, for if you expose his secrets you will not be safe from his betrayal, and if you disobey his orders you will make him angry.

　　In addition, avoid expressing happiness while he is sad, or being gloomy while he is happy, for the first quality is an act of negligence, and the second displeases him.

　　Honor him the best you can, and he will honor you the best he can.

　　The more you agree with him, the longer he will stay in your company.

　　Know, that you will not attain what you aspire for unless you favor his contentment over yours, and his desires over yours whether concerning something that pleases or displeases you.

　　Steps to marital happiness

　　· Make sure of your husband’s love for you:

　　Verifying your husband’s love for you is essential for the wife to attainmarital happiness. On the one hand, a husband should affirm his love for his wife from time to time. On the other hand, a wife should remind herself of her husband’s love for her and try to find reasons which could verify that love; the first of which was his proposal to marry her in the first place which proves his attraction towards her and his love for her. Besides, the fact that he is still married to her also indicates this. Add to that, the fact that he financially supports her, tends to her, cares for her, and feels protective jealousy over her. All this highlights his love for his wife.

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