Build True Community
By: Michelle Lazurek
"For where two or three gather in my name,there am Iwith them." Matthew 18:20
As a new Christian, I got involved with a couples' group in one of my first small groups. My husband and I joined this small group with four other couples. These couples varied in age, economic status, and background. All of them loved the Lord and were seasonedin the faith. These are people that I wanted to emulate. I tried to be more like them as I watched their example. Each week, we would go over the sermon, pray for each other's needs, and even have a night out together a couple of times throughout the small group cycle.
One night, I strolled in and threw myself on the couch as usual. I got my assortment of refreshments from the table, sat, and listened to the conversations. When group started, the leaders said they wanted to begin with prayer rather than discuss the sermon. In the first few minutes, we went around the room and talked about our week and any prayer requests. Most of the requests were superficial and spoke about other people. When we got to one couple, everything stopped. One man, usually very talkative and social, was eerily silent. As we looked at him, one tear slipped down his cheek. And he uttered one word that would change my life forever: "Help!"
He didn't have any other words, just that one. We surroundedhim, hugged him, gave him a tissue, laid hands on him, and prayed.
We offered no words to fix or bury the problem in the sand. Instead, we merely stood in the gap for him, prayed forhim, and asked the Lord to meet his needs.His situation was eventually resolved, and he was incredibly grateful to our group for praying for him. But that changed how I saw small group meetings. We usually had our routine of talking about the sermon, praying, and going home. While this was nice, we rarely saw God's spirit work among us in the group setting. I'd read about it as I started to read the Bible, but I had never seen it in a church service, let alone during a small group meeting.
Small groups are the place where true community can be built. When you meet with people regularly, they get to know you, and you get to know them. As you start to share your stories, trustis built. Once trustis built, intimacyis achieved. These are the moments when you can know people well enough and inevitably share your issues with them. Once you have a couple of people who support you in your triumphs, pray for you and your weaknesses, and help you through different trials, you know you have achieved true community.
Thisis not only important for every Christian but also for marriage. Couples need people who will help them build intimacy in their marriage. They need to know seasoned couples who have liveda lotof life, suffered through many trials, and persevered through it all. They also need to get to know younger people who are new to marriage and need guidance and advice. That small group my husband and I attended shaped us spiritually in ways in which weare still impactedtoday. We understood what a good model of small groups was and were able to implement that into many of the churches we pastored.
If that gentleman had not shared his story because he lacked humility, we might have ended up in cerebral groups, simply going through the motions of the faith and praying for superficial prayers. Yet, when we cry out to each other (and God), we become closer to him and others than ever before.
Father, let us be a couple that strives for authentic community. Let us find true community through small groups and circles of friends that will build us up in our marriage and be an example of community to others who are new to marriage and need help. Let us be humble and vulnerable as we share our stories with others so we can allow others to celebrate our triumphs, pray through our trials, and help us in our weaknesses. Amen.