How Long Do We Have to Honor Our Parents?

　　My mom and I were having a light argument in the kitchen recently. She had some leftover food that she wanted me to take home, and I said no. It wasn’t a serious argument at all, and as we went back and forth, she finally pulled out her trump card: “I’m your mother and the Bible says to honor your father and mother! So you have to do what I say!”

　　I (respectfully) stuck my tongue out and told her that I did not, because I am financially independent from them. (Reader, I definitely ended up taking home whatever leftovers she was offering.)

　　But who was right? Exodus 20:12 does indeed say that children should honor their fathers and mothers. So does that mean that my parents have a biblical right to make demands on me for the rest of their lives? Or was I correct, and once I took over the cellphone bill, I could do whatever I wanted?

What Is the Context of Exodus 20:12?

　　1. You shall have no other gods before the One True God

　　2. You shall not make idols

　　3. You shall not take the name of the Lord in vain, as a curse

　　4. Keep the Sabbath holy, as a day of rest

　　5. Do not murder

　　6. Do not commit adultery

　　7. Do not steal

　　8. Do not lie

　　9. Do not covet your neighbor’s things

　　Among this list, the command to honor your father and mother seems a bit strange. Some commands – like not making idols and keeping the Sabbath as a holy day – make sense for honoring God. Others – like the commands not to steal, kill, or lie – just make for a healthy, safe community. So why is obeying your parents listed there too? Is it really that important?

　　God clearly took this whole list very seriously. Genesis 20:18 says that “when the people saw the thunder and lightning and heard the trumpet and saw the mountain in smoke, they trembled with fear. They stayed at a distance.” This was no light request!

　　And in fact, it turns out the Bible has quite a bit to say about honoring elders.